How To Be Annoying: By Travis And Connor Stoll
by TwoStrangeGirls
Summary: Want to scare the Hades out of your roomate? No problem! Want to get kicked out of a store? Easy! Want to annoy people in an elevator? We're the masters of trouble! WARNING: Getting sent to prison for any of these actions are not by fault of the Stolls.
1. Chapter 1

**How To Be Annoying: By Travis And Connor Stoll.**

_This is a rule book about how to keep an annoying, or just plain weird, status. We will give you a topic, then fill you in on what we did to make this topic work! Don't lose track of your annoyingness, and don't get out of hand with it. Just follow these rules and BAM! You're annoying! Or weird! Either way works._

_-Travis Stoll_

_Now my brother left out a few simple rules. _

_1. Don't- under any circumstances- try to annoy people who have read this book, or know you have it. It just ruins the effect._

_2. You can not break character. Even if there's a really hot girl._

_3. If you laugh during any of these when you're not supposed to, just give up. You have to keep a straight face._

_I think that's pretty much it. Have fun, and keep annoying people!_

_-Connor Stoll_


	2. Elevators

**CHAPTER ONE: HOW TO ANNOY PEOPLE IN AN ELEVATOR**

**1. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." **

Travis entered the elevator slowly, hunched over. He found a spot in the elevator, and stood up straight. He looked at the other passengers carefully, then pinched his arm.

"Hmph. I must find a more suitable host body." He growled evilly,

A little girl in the elevator whimpered. He mother clutched her tightly.

"Stop messing around, kid! You're scaring my daughter!" She said.

Travis smiled coldly at the mother.

"You would make an excellent host..."

**2. Sing "It's a Small World" incessantly.**

"It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small-"

"Shut up!" One of the passengers yelled.

"Fine, fine!" Connor said, holding up his hands, "Geez, you people are boring."

They stood in silence for a moment before Connor reached over and tapped a woman.

"Hey. Hey, guess what?"

The woman looked at him, annoyed, "What?"

"It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all..."

**3. Ask people their names, then insult them.**

"What's your name?" Travis asked a woman who had just stepped into the elevator.

"Jackie." She replied, without looking up.

"Were you a guy at some point?" Travis asked.

The woman looked at him, offended. "What?"

"Well, you could have gotten a sex change, and your name could have been Jack, so instead of changing it, you just called yourself Jackie."

"I was never a man," Jackie informed him.

"Oh. Could've fooled me."

** to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.**

"Oh." Connor muttered, listening to the walls with his stethoscope, "That's not good at all. Oh no! No, elevator stay put! I have to hear what Dark Dragon's saying!"

The other passengers muttered not-so-nice things at the boy.

Connor whipped around to them. "Do you know anything about Dark Dragon? Please, tell me you know something!"

**5. Do Yoga.**

"Lean to the left. And breathe!" Travis leaned out to touch his toes, "Oh, you guys should really try this. It's so peaceful!"

He leaned to the right and let out a deep breath. "And relax!"

Travis stood up and smiled at the other passengers, who looked annoyed.  
>"Would any of you like to rub the knot out of my back?"<p>

**6. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" ** Conner grinned wider than most humans would have thought possible. He was focusing on the only passenger in the elevator, a middle aged man, who seemed very uncomfortable. After about thirty seconds of staring, Connor said, "I've got new socks on!"

**7. Play the harmonica.** Travis played a western tune on his harmonica. "I`m in an elevator!" More western music, "Playin` a harmonica! I made a new friend! Her name is Larmonica!" He stared at the other people in the elavator for a while before getting mad. "Why won't you people clap for me? I did great!"


	3. Classmates and You

**This chapter is for holly andersson, who needs help annoying the guy next to her in class. My advice: Poke him in the ear, or act like your a spaz and hit him repeatedly. Then apoligize. **

**I don't own PJO, unfortunately. Please review!**

**CHAPTER TWO: HOW TO ANNOY THE PEOPLE NEXT TO YOU IN CLASS.**

** in Spelling Bee-inese.** Travis sat down in his assigned seat in Algebra. Philbert, the annoying, nose picking boy who sat next to him, was already digging away. Travis couldn't complain, because the teacher already hated him. So he devised a plan that would get Philbert to complain.

"Hello, H-E-L-L-O, Philbert, P-H-I-L-B-E-R-T! How are you today? Today, T-O-D-A-Y." He greeted.

"What's wrong with you?" Philbert wheezed in his annoying voice.

"Nothing, N-O-T-H-I-N-G, is wrong Philbert! Wrong, W-R-O-N-G, wrong."

Philbert raised his hand. "Miss Cummel, can I move? Travis is a freak!"

_Yes,_ Travis thought. _Yes, I am._

**2. Sing "Everybody's Nerves." ** In second grade, Conner most certainly did not like Heather Bane. No, she was a snitch. Oh, but Connor was going give her something to snitch about today. She sat down and curled her lip at Conner.

Sometime during the spelling lesson, Connor started singing quietly. "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that get's on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody`s nerves, and this is how it goes!"

By the fourth chorus, Heather yelled, "SHUT UP!"

The teacher stopped teaching and looked at Heather, who was glaring at Connor. "Heather! No talking in class! I'll see you at recess!"

Oh yeah! Point 1 for Connor!

**3. Whisper to yourself. ** Six year old Travis was tired of Claire. She had made fun of him for having Dyslexia, and today, he was going to get her back! And since Travis would get in trouble for hitting a girl, he decided to annoy her instead. He was good at that! She sat down in her seat after lunch, and Travis smiled. This would be fun.

"Hi." He whispered.

"Ug. What do you want, Stoll?" She asked.

"Haha! I know! I think I did good on the test. What about you?"

By now, Claire was confused. "Who are you talking to?"

"No. I think you did better than that. Because you're smart, that's why!"

"Your so annoying!" Claire growled.

**4. Ask really, really stupid questions. ** "Hey, Tyler?" Connor aked the guy next to him.

"What?" Tyler replied. "What does happy mean?"

"How do you not know what happy means?" Tyler asked.

"I don't know! I was reading this book, and it said happy and I don't know what it means!" Connor said.

"It means...Well, I don't exactly have a definition for it," Tyler said, "Like, when you smile, you're happy."

"What does smile mean?"


	4. Getting Rid of Your Roomate For Dummies

**I still don't own PJO. Sorry. But, enjoy this story! And review!**

**CHAPTER THREE: HOW TO FREAK OUT YOUR ROOMATE **

**1. Insist that you're a vegitarian. Then, leave Slim Jim wrappers all over the room. ** Chase, Travis's roomate walked in to find that there were Slim Jim wrappers all over his dorm.

"Uh, Travis?" He asked, "What are those?"

"I don't know, man! I'm a vegitarian!" Travis insisted, "I don't know why their in here!"

Chase pointed to a piece of the meat in Travis's hand. "Dude, you were eating it."

"No, I wasn't. I don't eat meat."

"Obviously, you do!"

"I do not eat meat! I am a vegitarian! Don't blame me for this!"

**2. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes. ** As soon as his roomate walked in the door, Connor insisted on showing him what he bought.

"Dude, look!" He shoved the Jack-In-The-Box at Mason and stared at it. "Well? Do it!"

Mason looked at him strangely, but began to crank the handle. The Jack guy popped out and Connor screamed at the top of his lungs. Mason jumped and threw the box at him. Connor screamed even louder and kicked the box. Then stopped screaming and picked up the box. He re-started it, and when the guy popped out, he screamed and threw it at Mason.

**3. Pack up everything you own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.** "Bye, Chase!" Travis said one Thursday.

"Where are you going?" Chase asked, eying Travis's bags.

"Back to my mom's. Me and my brother are going crab fishing."

"Oh." Chase said, "Well, have fun, I guess."

An hour later, Travis walked through the door.

"I thought you were going crab fishing with your brother," Chase said.

"I was, but no one was home."

"I thought you lived in New York. There's no way you could have gotten from here to Ne-"

"I said no one was home!"

** in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won't be here much longer."** Conner walked into the room, with his half-brother, Chris, behind him.

Mason looked up from his book and said, "Who's this?"

"Our new roomate, Chris," Connor answered.

Chris waved, then pointed at Mason, "What about him?"

"Oh, Mason?" Connor said, "He won't be here much longer."

Mason looked suprised, "What? What do you mean?"

"Nothing, Mason! Come on, Chris, the bathroom's this way!"

** a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here somewhere." ** Chase walked in one day to see a tarantula in a jar sitting on his roomates drawer.

"Uh, Travis? What up with the spider?"

"He's my new pet! Isn't he cute?"

THREE DAYS LATER...

Chase looked at the empty jar on Travis's desk. "Dude, where's your spider?"

"He's around here somewhere." Travis answered.

"..._What?"_


	5. Libraries Are Not For Reading

**I don't own PJO. Sorry for the long wait, I was having a major writer's block. Anyway, enjoy it! And review!**

**~Lucky**

**CHAPTER FOUR: WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF A LIBRARY**

**1. Play Peek-A-Boo behind bookshelves.**

The girl found what she was looking for and slid the book off the shelf, only to find Travis Stoll's face.  
>"Peek-A-Boo!" He yelled, then slowly slid out of sight.<p>

People were wierd.

**2. Give death glares to the people opposite of you.**

Connor sat down in the library, one of his least favorite places. Oh, but he wasn't here to read. No, he was here to annoy the Hades out of some unfortunate victom. And this guy- the guy across from him on the couch- would be Connor's victom.

Connor glared at him, channeling his inner Annabeth. The man looked up and glanced nervously at the glaring teen. He went back to reading his book, then looked up again. Eventually, the guy left. Connor contemplated following him, then thought better of it.

_It would make me look weird._

**3. Randomly take off your shirt.**

Travis flipped through the books, humming quietly. He glanced over at the librarian, who was checking someone out. Nobody was looking at him. That needed to change. He slipped his shirt over his head, earning a few angry glances from people. The librarian looked up and gasped.

"Excuse me, sir," She said, walking over to him, "But you must put your shirt on, or I will have to ask you to leave."

"Can I stay if I take my pants off, too?"

**4. Ask a random person to read to you, then insult them.**

Connor selected "Little Red Riding Hood" from the bookshelf and walked over to a nice looking lady.

"Excuse me, Ma'am?" Connor said, and the woman looked up, "Will you read this to me?"

"Aren't you a bit old for that?" The lady asked.

"Says the chick who uses wrinkle cream every day!" Connor said, and the woman gasped.

"Somebody take this young man from the library!" She ordered.

"What's wrong? Can't take me yourself, Grandma?"

**5. Reanact The Hangover Part Two.**

"By the way," Will Solace asked his friend, "Do you know where my finger is?"

"Uh, yeah," Travis said, "We gave to a drug-dealing monkey."

"There they are!" The librarian shouted, interuppting their act, "They've been doing this for an hour now, and nobody has stopped them!"

The security officer glared at them. "You're not even in character!"

The librarian's jaw dropped. "You're not going to do an-"  
>"Yeah I know! Leo here," Travis said, pointing to another boy, "Just couldn't capture Alan!"<p> 


	6. What Siblings Are There For

**CHAPTER FIVE: HOW TO ANNOY YOUR SIBLINGS**

**1. Constantly tell them that they're adopted.**

"Chris, you're adopted," Travis said.

"How many times are you going to tell me that?" Chris questioned.

"Chris, you're adopted," Travis repeated.

"Shut up!"

"You just can't face it!" Travis said, "You're not one of us! You don't belong, Chris!"

**2. Take their stuff and write your name and a ridiculous use on it.**

"Connor," Hally said, walking into the cabin, "Why does this orange say...'Connor's left boob'?"

"Because, my dear sister," He replied, "That is my left boob."

"You're a guy. And this is an orange. My lunch, to be exact."

A muffled shout came from the cabin bathroom, "Why does the toothpaste say 'Connor's toe cream'?"

**3. Tell on them for stupid reasons.**

Hermes was visiting his children one day. He was about to give his youngest daughter, Lana, a gift, but his older son, Travis, stopped him.

"Dad!" He panted, "You can't reward her! She's awful!"

"Travis, she's nine years old," Hermes told his son, "But tell me, why is she awful?"

"Because she borrowed a Jolly Rancher from me, and never gave it back!"

"And I thought Apollo's kids were insane," Hermes muttered.

**4. Sing annoying theme songs.**

"Sonic, he's on the run! Sonic, he's number one! Sonic-"

"Please Connor," Alexis said, "Stop singing that song."

Connor shrugged. "Alright." A moment of silence. Then: "Hanging out, down the street! The same old things, we did last week! No-"

"Connor!"

"I'm sorry! Jeez."

Finally. some peace and- "Yes, no, maybe. I don't know. Can you repeat the question? You're not the boss of me now! You're not the boss of me now..."

"Tune it out, Lexi. Tune it out..."

**5. Tell them that you're Mom/Dad's favorite.**

"Dad likes me better."

"Travis," Chad sighed, "He said he didn't pick favorites."

"He lied. I'm soooo his favorite." Travis smirked at his brother.

"No, you're not!"

"Am too!"

"Are not!"

"Am too!"

"Are not!"

**6. Make them watch children's movies.**

"What are we watching?" Kade asked.

"Land Before Time!" Connor answered enthousiasticly.

"Um, isn't that a kid's movie?"

"Hey," Connor said, "I'm not eighteen. I can watch kid's movies if I want."

"But-"

"Don't you just love how rude Sarah is but she so obviously loves her friends. And Petre is so cute! And Littlefoot's loyal and stuff! I love it!"


	7. How To Get Tossed Out of a Moving Car

**CHAPTER SIX: HOW TO ANNOY PEOPLE ON A ROADTRIP**

**Stoll Note: **We did these on our trip to Canada. Lovely place. Though the get really mad if you say "Eh," After the end of every sentence... Or ask them for bacon. Man, those people have good bacon.

Anyway, back to the chapter. Have fun. Be annoying. Poke some ears. Just don't annoy people enough that they throw you out of their car. I speak from experiance: Landing on a freeway at sixty miles per hour is _not_ fun. Thanks, Mom. ~Connor Stoll

**1. Sing the Song That Never Ends**

"This is the song that never ends,

Yes, it goes on and on my fr-"

"Boys, please!" Aunt Candy said, "You two have been singing for the past three hours!"

"Well, yeah," Travis said, "It's the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on-"

"Travis, listen to your aunt," Mom sighed. "Alright."

"This is the song that-" "Travis!"

"It was Connor! I swear!"

"No, it wasn't!" Connor protested.

"Who cares?" Travis asked, "I didn't swear on anthing important."

**2. Whine that you have to go pee.**

"Mom, pull over," Connor requested.

"I can't, hon," Mom said, "We're on the freeway."

"Mom, I gotta pee!"

"Hold it," Aunt Candy told him.

"I can't hold it! I goooooottttttaaaaa peeeeeeee!"

"Connor-"

"I gotta go pee! I gotta go pee! I gotta go pee!"

"Connor!"

"I gotta pee! I gott-"

"Okay, I'm getting off the freeway!" Mom snapped.

Five minutes later, they pulled up to a gas station, "There," Aunt Candy said, "Go to the bathroom."

"Oh, I already went."

Seeing the horrified looks on their mother and aunt's and faces, Travis chuckled and whispered to his brother, "Nice job, man."

**3. Kick seats.**

"Travis, please-_Thump_-stop." Aunt Candy asked.

_Thump. _"Stop what?" Travis asked.

"Kicking my se-_Thump- _That!"

"I'm not- _Thump- _Kicking your seat." _Thump. _

"Travis, stop kicking your aunt's seat," Mom commanded. _Thump. Thump. Thump. _

"I'm not-_Thump-_Kicking her seat."

"I can see you!" _Thump. _

"I am not kicking her seat." _Thump. _

"Travis!"

**4. Hit people if you see out-of-state license plates.**

"Colorado!" Connor yelled as he slapped Aunt Candy.

Aunt Candy yelped. "Connor, don't hit so hard."

..."Nevada!" He, yet again, slapped Candy.

"Connor, I said not to hit so hard!"

"Sorry. Ooh, Nevada again!" Slap.

"Stop it!" Candy demanded.

"Jeez," Connor said, "Some people just don't know how to have fun."

Travis nodded in approval, "You should play, Aunt Candy! Like this!"

He slapped her and yelled, "California! Oh, California again!" He slapped her again.

Connor joined in, "California! Dang, there's a lot from California!"

"We're in California!" Candy yelled, trying to block their hits.

"Oh," Connor said, "That makes a lot more sense. Oregon!"

**5. Talk like Yoda.**

"Canada yet are we in?"

"Excuse me?" Mom asked, staring at her oldest son in the rear view mirror.

"Canada, there are we in?" Travis asked.

Mom sighed, "Talk like a normal person, Travis."

"Normal person, talk like, I will."


	8. How To Get Escorted Out Of A Market

**How To Annoy People In A Market**

**1. Talk about 'Ze Noodles'.**

Travis stopped a young woman by the meat department.

"Where is ze noodles?" He asked in a heavy accent.

The woman knit her eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"Ze noodles," Travis said, "Ze noodles for ze soup?"

"Oh," The woman pointed down an isle, "Right there."  
>"Ze noodles are right there?"<p>

"Yes, right down that isle."

Travis frowned. "I can't buy ze noodles. Vill you buy me ze noodles?"

"Uh, no I've just enough for my groceries."

Travis looked like he was going to cry. "But I need ze noodles! Mother vill be mad if I do not bring home ze noodles!"

**2. Give random people of the same gender your phone number.**

Connor sidled up to a plump man and slipped his phone number into his pocket. The man looked up, annoyed.

"What's this kid?"

Connor smiled suggestively. "Just if you get bored."

The man looked repulsed, but Connor just walked away and found another man. This one was wearing a suit.

"Hey, dude," Connor said, grabbing the man`s hand and forcing his phone number in it.

The man gave him a dirty look and shoved the number back at Connor.

The next guy was an old man, about sixty. Connor walked up and held his number out to the man, whispering, "Call me."

Three days later, Travis called his brother into the living room, where he was holding the phone.  
>"Dude, some guy's on the phone for you," Travis said, "Says you gave him your number at the market."<br>"Ah! Hang up! Hang up!"

**3. Get toilet paper and ask an employee for a sample.**

Travis walzed up to an employee, holding a big pack of toilet paper.

"Excuse me sir?" Travis asked, "Could I get a sample of this?"

The guy looked at Travis like he was a lunatic, (And let's face it, he is.) and shook his head slowly. "No...We, uh don't give samples on anything unless it's at a table with an employee giving samples."

Travis looked at his pack of toliet paper. Then he pulled a square of toilet paper from his pocket and held it out to the employee.

"Could you tell me what brand this is?" He asked, "It works really well."

That's when Travis got "escorted" out.

**4. Talk to the meat.**

Connor stroked the frozen chicken.

"Oh, man I hear you," He said softly, "I understand. This was wrong. Yeah, yeah, I get it, man. I'm sure you miss your wife, huh? Oh Henrietta, huh? That's a lovely name. Was she lovely? I'm sure she was lovely. And there was probably a lot of chicks around the coop, too. Oh, well I meant the baby chickens, but with your looks, there was probably a lot of the other kind, too! Am I right?"

"Mommy," A little boy whispered, "That man's freaky."

"Now do you see why I tell you not to talk to strangers?"

**5. Grab some friends and play 'Sock Hockey'!**

"Percy!" Travis hit the can of tuna with a broom in Percy's direction.

Nico blocked it with his broom and passed it to Jason, who nearly knocked an old woman over.

"I'm open, Jason!" Mitchell yelled from down the chip isle.

Jason slid the can to him, only to have it intercepted by Percy. An unfortunate man got hit in the face with the can while Percy hit it to Leo.

"Score!" Percy's team yelled.

Nico slid right in front of some lady's cart and she almost tripped jerking it to a halt.

"Alright," Jason yelled, "The next person who makes a goal gets to kiss my sister!"

Mitchell hit the tuna can and it collided with a woman's stomach.

"Yes!" He yelled, "Tell Thalia to pucker up, Jason!"


End file.
